Uggh OLIVE GARDEN "EXPERIENCE" no thanks.

My stomach is still recovering from OLIVE GARBAGE oops "Garden". :(  I won a FREE GIFT CARD at a seminar raffle LAST DECEMBER but dreaded using it  'cuz I HATE driving to Wendover/Skeet club  Suburba-Hell.  I generally don't like CORPORATE Theme restaurants AND I'd heard Olive Garden was "disgusting" at best.   However, I reasoned IT'S FREE FOOD (-gas wasted) and I'm usually undernourished these days so I'd better go take the "medicine" (Seminar sponsor was insurer BCBS of NC) and get it over with.

WELL, I WASN'T DISSAPOINTED , I'd been told it SUCKS and it sure does even worse than I expected.  The bench seat was really low, like the ones in no-name Chinese buffets where too many 900 pounders sit stuffing themselves and killed the springs.  So my table was about chin level. I asked for a phone book 'booster' so I could SEE my menu but "Oh we're sorry" uniform-corporate rules won't permit that.

Then the waiter "team" (waiter and bartender share a customer) forgot which order and gave me some stiff,dry, chicken primavera in generic sauce with absolutely ZERO green lettuce(white trash variety on-the-house with our "unlimited salad bowl" -wow what a bargain!!) Oh yes plenty of "unlimited" bread sticks if you enjoy dry, tasteless, unseasoned, (not a speck of garlic) "Italian" hotdog-bun style bread.  I left one of my sample sticks "for the pigeons". Oops, I forgot there are NO pigeons in Suburba-Hell/Paladium shops.  Then, when I finally discovered I'd gotten the wrong order, the ever-sweet, corporate-restaurant-waiter offered to prepare me the order I DID want to take home(at full price, of course= your fault , no discounts!!) OH Well I managed to mostly WASTE my $25.Gift card BUT happily AT LEAST I DON'T HAVE TO COME BACK UP HERE ANYMORE to "boost my nourishment" !!  

Ever the optimist, there WAS SOMETHINGS to be HAPPY ABOUT in my OLIVE GARDEN-PLASTIC-THEME-BOX CUISINE "Experience" !  1)The fruity, non- alcoholic iced beverage was actually ENJOYABLE, I drank it lovingly and then there was one guapo(latino?) waiter who's lindo cara I managed to see just twice, making me find my smile after all that gloom!!